I am so happy to be in a loving relationship with my girlfriend of two years. Her name is Ashley and we are absolutely smitten with one another. We do just about everything together, including going to church. However, it is important to note that although we are both very much in love, we have yet to engage in any sexual intercourse.
Yes, we are 100% abstinent, and will remain that way until we (hopefully) get married someday. I made this decision long ago when I was in high school, and the reasoning behind it is simple: sex is reserved only for those who are married to one another.
This is the way that God intended it to be from the beginning of time, and we are foolish to think that with the changing times comes a valid excuse for changing sexual behavior in a way that is more convenient to our own personal sexual desires.
I won’t deny that I haven’t wanted to have sex with my girlfriend before. In fact, I’ve wanted to do it on multiple occasions and still have such thoughts from time to time. But these thoughts are just the devil trying to lead me astray, and I know deep I my heart that God wants me to stay abstinent.
And so I remain abstinent. It’s that simple. Now, my girlfriend and I still show our affection in our everyday lives. In fact we can even get pretty sexual when it comes to gifts for each other. For example, I often go online to blissfulcherry.com to buy sex toys for my girlfriend for her to use when she’s alone (for those wondering, masturbation is not a sin and perfectly acceptable). And she will often send me racy pictures of her to turn me on.
However, no sex actually comes of it. In fact, I think the ability to engage in sexually-charged activities without actually engaging in sex itself forces us to have a lot of self-control and self-restraint when it comes to wanting to turn those sex toys and racy pictures into actually going all the way. In this way, I feel like we are really showing God just how serious we are about staying abstinent, precisely because of all the added sexual tension we purposefully inject in our relationship without acting upon it.
When we do finally have sex, it will be a truly special experience. Losing your virginity only happens once, and doing it with the one you love, after being bound together for life through the sacred ceremony of marriage is the only way to do it, and quite simply how God has always intended it to be.